The concern with drinking at fraternity parties was amplified recently when an LSU student and an MIT student died from alcohol poisoning. Two weeks ago, the University’s president Harvey Smithville reiterated the banning of alcohol from fraternity houses on or near campus property, “Any fraternity in which the members have alcohol will be immediately suspended. A second offense within a year will result in the banning of that fraternity for five years.”
This past weekend, three students, Press Martin, Al Amalek and Rob Smith, from the Alpha Beta Zeta fraternity were admitted to the local hospital with an alcohol poisoning diagnosis. The University responded to the incident by saying, “Our initial investigation indicates that these young men were at a party in the ABZ house. A number of witnesses say alcohol was being consumed by them. Based on that we are suspending the fraternity and all its activities on campus. We have not decided how long the suspension will last.” Jan Mize from the public relations department said that suspensions like this usually last about a year. Martin and Smith were released from the hospital on Monday morning, but Amalek remained behind. Interfraternity Council president Bart Addison was shocked to hear about this incident but believes that the entire fraternity should not be penalized for a few men’s actions. The University may potentially increase the police controls of fraternity houses on the weekends.
1. Reorganize this story completely. You simply wrote in the order the information was listed in the textbook; find the *news* and make that your lead.
2. Your lead should be a standalone sentence, 30 words or less.
3. Very good paraphrasing of quotes, but your info runs together — use short journalistic paragraphs, separating different ideas into different paragraphs.
1. The lead should be in 30 words or less, a brief overview of what happened to draw the reader in.
2. Paragraphs should be shorter, 2 to 3 sentences in order for the information to be displayed more clearly.
3. Find the most important information within the Stovall text within what was given, leaving out the information that is not necessarily needed.